Sunday, November 14, 2004
It is usually the ones you love that hurt you most.
A kind reminder from my Kuya; he said this just a few minutes ago. Dont get me wrong,this went both ways.
I told her, just last Friday after classes that I needed to leave. That may have not been the entire truth-which was that I wanted to-but it was, in part. And so, after that statement, she looked at me, her brow furrowing in sadness, and asked me to stay. I remained adamant about going, and made my move to leave. She pleaded some more, and I sat down with a pissed-off, why-do-i-have-to look on my face, as usual. I knew what was coming. It never fails, when I make that face while being forced to sit down and stay. She cried, and I, as always groaned and sat there, not bothering to go after her as she walked away. Her little sis was there and she, to some extent understood my plight, though she saw how selfish both of us were. I was inclined to get up and go after her and say sorry, but my anger at having been forced to stay made not-so-good thoughts swirl around my head, and for fear that I might say something so utterly wrong in this situation to her, I stayed put.
I did not think (or rather, I refused to) that things would get worse. Hell, they usually do,right? So last night, after a whole morning of silence, she texted. What she had to say didnt exactly cheer me up; she,in essence said that perhaps it would be better for both of us if we broke up. I was angry and very,very sad, but I kept it in. It hurt me to hear that from her, it seemed like our relationship wasnt worth fighting for anymore, for her to be giving up just like that. For her to even think that hurt. And issues that night were left unresolved. I dont know if I was successful in apologizing sincerely and trying to bring her out of this, but I guess i'll find out in a few days.
2:15 PM
