Sunday, September 26, 2004
When one has had a couple of beers and is not a strong drinker, you shouldnt expect him to act totally sane throughout the night.
A few nights ago I attended my friends birthday party. Initially i didnt want to go, but certain circumstances forced me to. My girlfriend was going, and she, in all probability, didnt have a ride home and would have to commute. I scarcely had enough money to get home myself, but I had to accompany her home, I just had to.
So I went, and arrived earlier than she did, just sitting down at a table talking to my friends. I decided to go home first and change,because I was still in uniform, and when I got back to the party, she was already there. We ate, then sat down with the other couples at a table to drink. It started off as such a lovely night.
Then Patrick initiated an open forum amongst us, starting off by asking questions concerning couples' rules and unspoken laws. Everyone asked a question, and when my turn came, my mind went blank. I couldnt think straight, not with the few beers in my system, so i asked the first thing that came to mind. Bad move.
The question I asked concerned my very close childhood friend Crystal, and it was a touchy subject for my girl. Crystal and I call each other some endearing things that affected her much, and i was asking her if that was okay, since I couldn't really discern her stand on that. I was asking because I wanted to know if I should stop. Instead of saying it aloud, like the other couples' replies to each other and to the group, she whispered to me that it wasn't.
With that done, we unashamedly started kissing, as all the others were, too. I dont know if it was the beer, but I normally wouldnt have done that in front of so many people. We stopped suddenly as soon as everyone did, and then, because, again, I wanted to know where she stood on this, I asked her if she would take offense if I had a pic of my crush. She said it was. Then I asked if it was okay that I showed it to everyone. Now that was stupid. Its my fault, I know, but its also partly the beer. she said it wasnt. I guess I had an idea by then of how much that affected her, but I wasn't sure.
I held all my other questions back, because I didn't want to ruin the night. I didn'n know that I already had. I asked one of my family members to pick us up, and soon we were on our way to our house. I knew something was wrong with her then, because she kept silent throughout the ride, which was very unusual. And now, she releases her anger and depression through an approved medium.She lashes out at me, but its okay.
I approve of any way of releasing tension and negative emotions except slashing(and smoking,for her),so I guess all thats left to do is deal with this together when we meet tomorrow.
Happy Monthsary, Panda.
7:10 PM
