Saturday, September 04, 2004
Introduction to The Madness:
The Madness is a delusory condition in which the afflicted is plagued with dark thoughts. The victim is disturbed so much and so intensely that he/she unconsciously brings them into action. Unless he/she has a strong will to retain his friendship with the people around him/her, The Madness will rule his/her life, and that person will no longer be what he/she was. That person will be dead.
Let me tell you about my long years of battle with The Madness. Oh wait... I can't, because my poor mind has erased all or most of those years from my memory due to the events that happened which are too horrible and inhuman to remember. I'll have to tell you about my not so distant past, in which i thought The Madness defeated. This was in my early years of high school, and I guess I could say I was happy,despite the fact that I felt like I had my then-girlfriend taken from me, and I was being treated like a dog in my home, i was happy. I felt joy and exhiliration like I had never had before, because i had friends.
I had thought then that having friends was just reward for enduring my years of torment, but then The Madness surfaced from its freshly dug grave and began to plague me again. It gradually led me to believe that these friends i had were false, and unworthy of my time. It led me to believe that having friends was too good to be true. I held on,though, and fought back with all the will and strength I had. Again I thought I had won, when I felt The Madness subside and retreat back into the depths of my plagued mind from whence it came, but when I looked at my friends, I realized that I had lost. I believed then, and even now, that my friends were not friends at all. There was truth in The Madness' words.
I struggled through the early days of my third year keeping up my facade with my "friends". I had thought that I would have to go through my childhood again, wherein I thought I had many friends, but, in truth, I had none.
Then SHE came. At first, The Madness was strong, and led me to believe that if I talked to her, and made her a friend of my "friends", then she would be one of them, one of the False ones. But by an extremely miraculous stroke of luck, I heard another, more powerful voice tell me that she was different, that she would be the true one amongst the false. She would be the light. she came back to school one day, after a few day's abscence due to the mistreatment she had at the hands of my "friends", and then I built up my confidence and forced myself to be brave, and talked to her. And after that, The Madness grew steadily weaker, for because of her, because of the light, I had regained my will. I now had something to fight for, and dreams to reach.
I had begun to live.
1:00 AM
